Always Now

My oldest - I've been calling her "Dancer" but maybe a better name would be "Teacher" because that's mostly what she is these days - anyway, she gave me a very VERY rough cut of the CD that she is cutting with her husband and some musician friends of her music. 

TOO COOL! 

This is the second or third CD she has partcipated in, but the first that will be totally her music.  I would share but she is in the process of COPYRIGHTING (awesome, right?) and maybe also publishing on iTunes. 
I've listened to my very rough cut - and it is rough, some of my favorites are scratchy sounding because I think the CD made the trip from Georgia on the floor - about 25 times.  This is very weird but I can trace my daughter's love life and KNOW where she was with each of the songs.  What's weird about it is that no less than THREE of the songs she has said, "Um, that's NOT about me." 

Huh.

Especially the one that I told her sounds angry she says is not about her at all.  It puts one in mind of abuse, whether physical or mental or emotional (needless to say, it's not my fave) and I guess she has totally blocked out where she got the idea for it.  SO I retold her a story that she told me more than ten years ago about her then-boyfriend (not the now-husband, thank you) and - get this - SHE DID NOT REMEMBER IT! 

This brings me to something that I wrote before.  Writing painful stuff somehow seems to let it go for me and obviously for her.  She has kept a journal for nearly 20 years.... OMG am I THAT old???  I have some early samples, where she was just writing in school notebooks.  But she still has most of them and uses them for song ideas.

Hm.  I have never been a good journal writer, but I do have a diary from back in the day. Maybe I need to get it out and read what I've forgotten.